I'm sitting here with a box of Kleenex and a late winter cold feeling ever so slightly sorry for myself but then I think, well I have this wonderful blog. Even if it can't clear my nose, it helps clarify my thoughts.
After a conversation with a friend this week, I've started to think about what gets me out of bed in the morning. There was a time when it was hard to get out of bed. Perhaps I had depression; I was younger then. But I do know that over the years something has changed in me and the watershed moment came when I had surgery for cancer.
This is going to sound so strange but having cancer was good for me. I'm not saying it wasn't very painful and I'm not saying that cancer isn't devastating for many people but for me, it was a real wake-up call.
When I was sick, people I hadn't seen for years visited me, sometimes travelling hundreds of miles to visit. It was just great to see them! And my sons were wonderful too. The eldest took over all the day-to-day arrangements and my youngest sat by my bedside to get whatever I needed. I felt so fortunate to not only see everyone but particularly to witness my sons blossom into good men. Of course, when I was better, there was a bit of regression but still.
I can picture the boys by my bed when I awoke from the surgery. These two hulking giants, one is 6'5" and the other is 6'3", standing over me looking down. It was comical, like we had switched places. Do you know the Robert Munsch book, "Love you Forever"? Like that. And they said in unison, "Mom, it's so good to see you."
There is something truly magical about knowing that you're loved but sometimes we don't really know until there's a crisis. Love gave me an incentive to get out of bed after the surgery because I didn't want to worry the people who love me. I think this helped me heal faster and I only missed one school board meeting, on the actual day of the surgery.
It was interesting that my sense of time also changed. Sure, I had realized that time is limited and that I should try to make the most of it. But I also came to appreciate that I generally do whatever I can in a situation and usually find a solution. This realization allowed me to trust enough to know that I can undo most mistakes and this gives me permission to live in the moment.
To go back to an earlier question about motivation, http://pamfitzgeraldottawa.blogspot.ca/2013/02/the-value-of-volunteering.html, if I were to have a conversation with Daniel Pink today, I might say yes, you have it right in most ways but it's not quite complete. By the way, here's a great RSA Animate video to help explain Pink's ideas, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc.
So let's peel back Pink's onion a little more. As sufficient income gives creative workers the ability to forget about money and concentrate on work, so love coupled with meaningful work gives the inspiration to be present in the moment and truly observe what's going on around us. Through this presence of mind, we can become more creative.
Living in the moment has been a great gift. And if I can give a gift back, I hope you enjoy this video of children singing "What a Wonderful World", https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddLd0QRf7Vg. Cancer may have taken away a part of me but it also allowed me to live in the present and gave me a better sense of love. It was more than a fair trade ... and I laugh a lot more.
The views expressed in this blog are my personal views only.
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